I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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