; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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