I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
