yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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