Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
