I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
