Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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