Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
