i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
