But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
well you can't waste a boner
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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