I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize