nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
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Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school