u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?