I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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