Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
