How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
