i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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