I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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