therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
