she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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