I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Come on in and take your pants off
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