i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
