oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
