I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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