When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
