Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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