I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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