See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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