Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize