can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
