I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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