your thong is hanging out like whoa
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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