just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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