listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
