I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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