you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
