question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize