Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She even gives head with a lisp.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize