just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
