it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
