I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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