dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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