I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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