...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
try to milk me bitch
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