Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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