who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I am available for nakedness
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
