i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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