dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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