Who wears a wallet chain?!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
