He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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