I just threw up on my dentist
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
