what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
