this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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