Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
