And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
