Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
