Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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