come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
