so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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