He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
