Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize